stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
