lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
