Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm just crazy horny about you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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