i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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