I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
