Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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