I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
