His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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