Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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