He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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