she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
