guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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