i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
