"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i will never coherently bang her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
