4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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