and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
