Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
