She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
