Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
