For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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