too bad you live with your parents still
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
