i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
