Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
