I wanna passion pit in your ass
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.