Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and she was petting her beer can
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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