Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
