Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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