i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
