Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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