At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
