after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
