Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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