my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize