I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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