this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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