yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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