We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
