Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
