what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
