A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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