Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
