I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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