Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
