this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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