Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
