the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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