literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
