They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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