She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
