It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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