Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
