let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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