I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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