I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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