I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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