i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
