Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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