i just had sex bonerless
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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