glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we're making bets on your personal life
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
