Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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