can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
