That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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