everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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