Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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