It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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